December 1 , 2007

Parent Post

These posts represent what is the best part of the DC Post - discussing a topic and hearing other parent’s views.   On the surface, the "D" pass or play rule may seem ridiculous.  But, we, too, have a child who struggles and one who makes "A\'s" easily.  The expectations, grade-wise, are very different for our kids.  But behavior-wise the expectations are the same. 

As the one parent said, if they are not doing what they are supposed to be doing to the best of their ability, bye-bye "extras." Parent 2's post about performing at one's best is appreciated!  The great thing about each of the posts below is hearing parents willing to take responsibility for raising their kids and not expecting the schools to do that.  I applaud a parent determining their own child's sports eligibility, raising the standards for their own child.  This is what we should be doing!  For example, I am so tired of hearing (at the elementary level) "We need more homework!"  If your child needs extra work on their multiplication tables - get flash cards, find some math games on the Internet or speak with the teacher about other ways to supplement but stop demanding that the teachers or school mandate something for ALL students that they do not ALL necessarily need!  

I am happy to see the different views expressed here and parents doing what they should be - taking responsibility for their own kids.  The schools set the parameters but it is up to us to operate, according to our judgments and expectations.  Great topic, excellent discussions!

November 29 , 2007

Parent Post 1

I applaud you for your comments on grades and sports.  Unfortunately, the national standards are that low.  Our school is only following the embarrassing rules of no pass/no play.  C is still considered an average grade.  

At our home, we expect our children to do their personal best.  We better NEVER have any sort of behavior issues or forget any extra-curricular things - cell phones, friends over, birthday parties AND sports are all "extras".  However, those are our personal choices.  Until parents demand more OR choose for themselves to require more; the schools are doing all they can.

On another note:  how can we teach our kids that they have to be academic only to go to college?  That is certainly not true!  Besides, some of our brightest students will attend college on a scholarship.  However, it is rare to get a full ride.  With sports some kids can get that "full ride".  Or why not support our kids to their individual best?  If their best chance of going to college is through sports (due to financial or other issues); why don't we AS A SCHOOL DISTRICT provide them with what they need to succeed and go to college?  Isn't that the goal of our schools?  

We lack so much in sports!  Raising money for uniforms, air conditioned and heating in gyms, sod for fields, etc. If we have a science lab:  we have a good variety of basic things provided.  Physical Education is a class:  why not give it the same treatment?  With obesity on the rise with our children and nation....why not teach our kids about health?  Why not support them in all of their individual skills? I could go on and on.....but until we demand fair and equal treatment across the board for all students - we will still have this good ol' boy system.  And we think we are ready for 5A sports - ha! Not when we still hold out spots for kids on teams without having to try out.  Or allowing parents to DEMAND their kid make Varsity.  Ask the middle school coaches all about that!

Parent Post 2

Dear Parent of a "Fine Student and Talented Athlete,"  What's really a sad state of affairs is that a school district needs a contract to govern behavior on the behalf of those involved in athletics.  Parents often rush to judgment of the school without having all of the facts.  As a mom of a student who struggles, I know that there are several factors that you have not considered.

-Perhaps, you have never had a child who was mentally challenged, but was a gifted athlete.

-Perhaps, you have never had a child who struggles with dyslexia (learning to read) and making a C minus on a Literature exam is celebrated.

-Perhaps, you have never had a child who spends June and July going to tutoring just so that he can keep up with his math in the summer while all of the other children are swimming.

-Perhaps, you have never had a child who misses practice every week, with the coaching staff's blessing, because he needs math tutoring just to maintain a C average.

-Perhaps, you have never had a child who studies on average 2 hours every night, turns in every assignment, and still makes a 60% on his test. 

You have obviously been blessed with a gifted scholar and athlete.  Please take the time to count your blessings and allow those of us who have children who spend countless hours to maintain a C average gloat in their personal success.  Occasionally, a child who struggles may even make a D.  My child is no less brilliant than yours.  My child simply has different gifts, and one of his greatest gifts is tolerance and understanding of differences because he has lived it every day. 

The grading policies are set for the benefit of all children.  My child is a student athlete, even when he makes a C.  The grading policies are set by the OSSAA and the School Board not to hurt gifted and talented scholars and athletes, but to protect those children who do have a right to perform at their personal best. 

-Perhaps, wisdom could be gained by reading Joel Osteen's Become a Better You: 7 Keys to Improving Your Life Every Day.  Instead of reading a book on winning, maybe a book about performing at ones spiritual best would be a better read.  Adopting the principle that "today I will reach for something beyond where I am presently." It is a hope, that all of us, regardless of personal ability, are teaching our children to reach for the highest levels.  15 years from now nobody will remember your child's grade in math.  People will, however, remember what kind of a person he was and how he treated others.  I hope that he doesn't learn your view of intolerance and continue to share that with others. 

We are blessed to be in a district where students succeed and teachers and coaches love and care about our kids.  You can't honestly believe that a coaching staff would choose basketball practice over math?  There is obviously more to that story.  Personal attacks have never had great merit in the game of life.  Usually, they make that writer feel great and powerful.  To hurt another person with harsh words is an easy task.  However, I would beg to differ that our wonderful teacher's and coaches would choose a video over a book.  Yes, I am sure that you managed to hurt their feelings.  However, you may want to ask them sometime what they have been reading.  Who knows, maybe it's actually a scholarly work and not about winning and sports.

November 26 , 2007

Parent Post

I thought if I waited this out a bit, my anger would subside.  I couldn't have been more wrong.  When did we take the "student" out of "student athlete"?  At a recent informational and organizational meeting for the parents of middle school basketball players -- both girls and boys -- we were informed by Toni Jones that if a student has D- average or below in any class, he or she is determined to be ineligible and that steps will be taken to bring that grade up. I'm sorry; was I dozing off?  Did she say "D minus?"  Surely I misunderstood!

So, I asked around to other parents.  Yep, that's what she said:  "D minus".  Apparently we are still maintaining those old "When is an F not an F" standards?  What we're telling our student athletes couldn’t be stated more clearly:  athletics are more important than scholastics.  But surely you jest.  In Oklahoma?  Say it ain’t so! 

Years ago Coach Ken Carter (Los Angeles, CA) fought with school boards and administrations in the inner city to bring the "student" back into athletics.  His players were required to sign contracts agreeing to certain behavior, much like the contract our kids signed; but his contract had an emphasis on maintaining grades.  It caused quite a stir, even at the national level.  My family knows his story inside and out, and he was right.  No question about it.  Perhaps our coaching staff and administrators should read his book or, in this age where reading is becoming obsolete, watch the movie.  That is, of course, if they even care.  

But in any event, here’s what I say to you coaches, teachers and administrators at DCMS:   Phooey on you!  I'm overruling and overriding your eligibility requirements and putting you on notice that if MY student athlete's grades drop to a C minus or below – not a D of any kind – a C minus or below, I will PERSONALLY determine him to be ineligible and you will not -- I repeat -- you will not punish or penalize him in any way for missing games or practices as outlined in the contract DCMS players and parents were required to sign.  (http://teacherweb.com/OK/DeerCreekMiddleSchool/boysbasketball click on Player Contract)  His involvement in school sports is a privilege:  one that he must earn and maintain; one that you must help him earn and maintain.  He is a fine student and a talented athlete, and those two can only co-mingle to make him a successful student athlete if he is supported by the adults and the positive influences around him. 

These kids and their parents were required to sign a contact that requires them to show respect and follow a certain code of behavior, including being picked up from practice on time (another term of the agreement that is subject to penalty).  But respect and codes of conduct travel on a two-way street.  What about the contacts all of you are required to sign in order be a part of our district?  Show me the part that says, “Encourage your students to slide by with the least amount of effort and reward them with all the perks and privileges available to them so that we have an undefeated season.”   Show me the part that says, “As long as it’s not an “F”, let ‘em play!”  We’ve already seen the part that says, “If you miss a practice, you’re toast.  But if you screw up your math test, don’t sweat it.”  Well, not in OUR house, not on OUR time, and not at the expense of OUR student athlete.  You should be ashamed of yourselves.  For now, some of us will be ashamed for you.